


Sign Your Name Across My Heart

by arituzz



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-22 14:54:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7443430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arituzz/pseuds/arituzz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The name of your soulmate will appear on your chest the day you turn eighteen. Simon is taken aback when he sees his. Baz doesn’t know whether to feel hope or drown in his own sorrow.</p><p>(8th Year AU)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sign Your Name Across My Heart

**BAZ**

I’ve been in love with Simon Snow since I was twelve. I’d always expected to wear his name on my chest. And I’d also always known for a fact that he’d have another person’s name written above his heart. Probably Wellbelove’s. Yes, I’d always thought I had an unrequited soulmate.

So, when my soulmate’s name finally appeared on my chest, I had no idea what to do with it.

It happened some months after the beginning of the seventh school year. The morning of my birthday, I rushed into the bathroom and looked at the mirror in astonishment.

_Simon Salisbury._

At first, I didn’t give it much importance.

But my feelings for Simon bloody Snow didn’t go away. In fact, they increased day after day—how was that even possible, when I already loved him with all my being?

I started pitying that Simon Salisbury bloke who was supposed to be my soulmate. I was never going to love him the way I loved Simon Snow.

Then I started pitying myself, even more than before. I bore a name on my chest that meant nothing to me. My heart already belonged to another person. Even if that person didn’t know it. Even if he didn’t want it. It was his. It is his. The magic of soulmarks didn’t work on me. Maybe it is because I’m dead?

Then, Snow and Wellbelove broke up. It appears, the morning of her eighteenth birthday, she woke up to no name on her chest. Not Simon Snow’s. Not anyone’s. She woke up exactly the same as she went to sleep. And that made her realize she didn’t love Snow. So they broke up. And that made me feel better.

Wellbelove was not the first one without a soulmate. There had been many cases. There were also cases of people who had more than one soulmate. Or people whose soulmate was already dead.

My father had two soulmates. She had my mother’s name on his chest until the day she died. Then, another name appeared where hers used to be.

Maybe I should go and kill every Simon Salisbury alive and wait for another name to appear on my chest. Kill every person with my soulmate’s name until that name is none other than _Simon Snow_ , I thought.

Then, Snow’s birthday came, right before the end of the school year.

He went straight into the bathroom and didn’t come out until half an hour later. His face was like a ghost’s. He looked at me angry—angrier than usual—and left the room.

He didn’t speak to me for the rest of the school year.

—

Summer came and I started thinking that maybe, _maybe_ I should give all this soulmates crap a try. So I started looking for Simon Salisburys on the Internet. I met some of them on _tinder_. And I chatted with a bunch of them. Flirted, I guess. But I ended up breaking each one of their hearts in a different way. Who was I trying to fool? I’d never love anyone the way I loved—the way I still love—Simon Snow.

I tried to erase the name with magic. I tried with “ _ **out, out, damned spot**_ ”, “ _ **take it away**_ ” and “ _ **into thin air**_ ”. Then I tried with “ _ **as you were**_ ” and “ _ **nonsense**_ ”, too. I even tried to “ _ **make a wish**_ ” to make it disappear. I also tried with “ _ **there’s nothing to see here**_ ”. And even chanced a “ _ **get out of my heart**_ ”. All to no avail. The bloody mark was still there.

So I went with more unorthodox methods.

I grabbed a knife from the kitchen, one day that my family wasn’t home. The pain I felt was nothing compared to the pain of seeing that bloody name every single day. But it only left an ugly scar. The name was still legible.

—

School year started again and with it came a different Simon Snow. And by different I mean fucking weird. Nice. Snow was _nice_ to me.

He started following me everywhere. It was fifth year all over again. Until one night, in our room, I got fed up and faced him.

“Snow,” I said before he could go to sleep. “What do you want from me?”

“Take off your shirt,” he demanded, to my bewilderment.

“Have you lost your mind?” I asked him, confused.

“I want to see it.”

“See what?”

“Your mark.” Oh. For a second—a split second—I imagined him saying “ _I have your name written over my heart, I've always known it would be you_.”

Instead, he reached for my shirt and tried to pull it off.

“No,” I said.

“Let me see it.”

“Why?” I asked.

“I want to check something.”

“ _What_ do you want to check?”

He didn’t answer me. He inched forward and took my hands into his, intertwining our fingers.

“What are you doing, _Snow_?” I said his last name like it were bile. I’d always call him Snow, never Simon. A constant reminder that it’s not Salisbury. Not my soulmate.

But there was still no reply.

Then, the courageous fuck did it. He inched even forward and brushed my lips with his. So I kissed him back. We still had our fingers entwined.

Then, he broke the kiss and made me take his shirt off. I looked at his soulmark, with utter astonishment.

_Tyrannus Pitch_

“That’s you, right?” he asked, stupidly.

“Yes,” I answered, my hand tracing the black ink on Snow’s chest. I was his soulmate. But he wasn’t mine.

He grabbed my shirt and pulled at it, so he could see my soulmark.

“You don’t have my name,” he said surprised. “You have some other bloke.”

“I tried to change that,” I confessed. “I’ve always wanted it to be Simon Snow.”

“That’s why you have that scar?”

“Yes.”

I reached for his lips again. Crowley, I wanted to kiss him so much. But he pushed me away.

“No,” he said, with such sorrow that made my heart break into a thousand pieces. “I’m not your soulmate,” he continued. “We’re not destined to be together,” he said. But I couldn’t care less about destiny. I only cared about him. “Your soul belongs to someone named Simon Salisbury. Not me.”

“I don’t have a soul, Snow.”

“Well, your heart belongs to another person.”

“My heart belongs to you. It always has.” My lips met my name on his chest. “Fuck Simon Salisbury. Fuck fate,” I said, placing kisses over his heart. “I choose you,” I continued. “Simon Snow, I choose you.”

He took my face in his hands and kissed me again. And again. He has never stopped since then.

—

It still hurts me to remember that I’m magically attached to another person.

But then I look at Simon. _Simon Snow_. And everything’s alright.

We’re lying on our bed now. At our apartment. He’s on top of me, tracing his fingers on my chest, caressing the mark. _Simon_ , It reads, with neat black ink. But there is no _Salisbury_ anymore. I got it crossed out. Leda, a Normal friend of Wellbelove’s, tattooed me. Simon is now tracing his fingers at the giant snowflake that she carved over my skin, where _Salisbury_ used to be.

I did that for myself. I did that for him. To have Snow on my heart, in every possible way. And I’d do it again. I’d cross every line for him.

-FIN-


End file.
